Thursday, January 24, 2013

Failure leads to hunger!!!!!!!!!

As I came upon mile 24 of the Mumbai Marathon last weekend (20th of January), I noticed myself fading from my goal pace of 7 minutes per mile!!!! Previous to mile 24 I had a little bit of a hill problem for mile 23 which completely ate up the rest of my fading hamstring muscles!!!!!!  Doing quick calculations in my head and figuring out if I can still salvage a sub-3:05 time I figured I had to do exactly (and no less) 2 consecutive 6:58 miles once reaching mile 24.2 of the race!!  I thought in my head and repeated "I trained to hard for this, I want Boston" I noticed my pace recovering and speeding up quite a bit!!!  My heart was tearing, legs were feeling of jello, and desire was never higher!! I WAS going to finish this marathon below a 3:05 time AND qualify for the Boston Marathon!!!!!

One thing I DID not count on at the finish was a traffic jam, however!!!  Apparently all 3 races (Full, Half, and Dream Run) were finishing at the same time, which meant the last 1.5 miles I had to bob and weave the walkers and runners who were not serious about the race, but instead were focused on taking pictures and getting the free water and oranges along the way, quite frustrating for those who actually took these races seriously and had goals to accomplish!!!!  As I bobbed and weaved I notice that that alone took more and more energy, more of which I could not afford at this point!!  Thus I felt my pace, once again, was fading and not stabilizing the 6:58 I desperately needed just to finish a couple seconds faster than 3:05!!!  It was around the final turn (500 meter checkpoint) that I realized that my goal and Boston would once again be put on hold and again would take another marathon to try and achieve and conquer this white whale of mine!!!!!!

As I crossed the finish line I stopped my watch and looked down to see a torturous time of 3 hours 6 minutes and 36 seconds!!!!!!!  I want you right now to stop everything, look at the clock and watch as 1 minute and 36 seconds tick away........... not so fast is it!!?!?!?  When you're running a race you desperately wished time would tick away that slow!!! Instead it does quite the opposite with minutes seeming to turn to seconds!!!!  I swear those last 3 minutes of the race lasted 30 seconds!!!  For all the heart, guts, and determination I exerted into my legs it just didn't seem to help, I was not going to have the stamina to finish this race as I so many times had hoped I would!!!!!!

Crossing the finish line and taking a moment to reflect on what just happened, I had no other option than to sink to the ground on my hands and knees, put my forehead to the ground and just crouch there.  Being completely exhausted, not even enough to put forth some tears of which I felt were coming soon but never came, I was defeated.  Here I trained for 6 months, roughly 260,000 minutes, and I fell 1 minute and 37 seconds short of my dream!!!!!  I didn't have the energy to pick myself all the way up, but instead to go half way and sit on a chair for what seemed like 4 hours, but was about 5 minutes, sitting there, thinking of what is to come.

At this point in time, and we ALL have faced moments like these, there are two roads one can CHOOSE to go down:

1st road: Give up, convince yourself it will never be, and move on not looking back, but always having a question of "what if" in the back of your mind.

2nd road: Pick yourself up, reflect, learn from it, use it, and try even harder the next time!!!!

It was at this moment, on that chair, I thought to myself, "I am TOO damn close right now to just give up and let failure take over!!!!!!!!!!"  I could feel an appetite, similar to the one I felt immediately after Grandma's Marathon in June, when I missed 3:05 by 7 minutes!!! This appetite was PASSION AND DETERMINATION COMING BACK INTO MY BODY!!!!!!!!! MY SOUL!!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!!  To be that close to something and still fail is torture, but also a GREAT motivator!!!!  And that's exactly what Mumbai is now and forever will be, the marathon that motivated the crap out of me!!!!!  I WILL not miss the next marathon by 1 minute and 36 seconds, but instead DESTROY it!!!!  My goal will be a sub- 3 hour time, taking another 6 minutes off of my personal best!!!!!  I have 1 year to prepare for this marathon, and yes the United States of America, be ready, because I am coming after one of your marathons!!! Houston, Phoenix, or Disney World are the options and one of you will be at my mercy!!!!!!!!  Come next January you will see the most determined and passionate Minnesotan Marathon Runner you have ever seen or met!!!!!!!!!

THE HUNGER IS BACK AND I WILL BE QUALIFYING FOR BOSTON NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!  362 DAYS UNTIL THAT MOMENT HAPPENS, LET'S GET STARTED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This year's theme (going old school):  "No Pain! No Pain! No Pain!"


HOUSTON, PHOENIX, OR DISNEY WORLD I'M COMING FOR YOU NEXT JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY SMILING AND TRAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

  1. Woah!!! Mr. Steve!!!
    One minute and thirty six seconds only! I am sure you will make it next year! Good luck!
    -Supa

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  3. DJG aka: Mr. WonderfulJanuary 24, 2013 at 9:24 PM

    Amazing. Who would have thought anything in India would be crowded?

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  4. Mr. Wonderful??!? Really, that's your "nickname"!!!:):) The DJG gives it away though!! And obviously India is crowded, but a marathon that has ran 10 years, yeah I would have thought they would be a little more organized and rational than that!!!

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  5. You will make it Steve Happy running.

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  6. you will get there soon... mumbai was not the place for it to happen ... that's all

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